The answer to one of the most asked questions… Why can’t they see, simply because they don’t want to.
The Courts, Report Writers and/or Independent Children’s Lawyers (ICL’s) don’t want difficult and will always choose the easiest path.
Put yourself in their shoes… Standing before them they have two parents.
Happy and Friendly (narcissistic),
Confident and self assured (controlling and manipulative)
Polite and well mannered (lying and deceitful)
Charismatic (Dominating and Abusive)
Quite, unsure, no self confidence, confused and truthful – A victim of Family Violence
On one hand you have this confident, charismatic, polite and self assured parent who looks to good to be true (that’s because they are). And then you have the victim of Family Violence who has weathered years of the abuse and even though they are trying their hardest to convince the Court, Report Writer and/or ICL of the abuse, and more importantly, the truth, no one will listen, so they come across as desperate.
This is where the in-balance begins. The Courts believe the abusive parent who suggests a Family Report will help.
The Report writer then, because they do not have the correct training, knowledge or experience believes the abuser who suggests that the children have been aligned. Most Report Writers would not know what Family Violence was, even if it hit them in the face (excuse the pun). The children say they are scared of the other parent (the abuser) because they have seen, heard and been a victim of abuse, but the abused parent is accused of aligning the children, which is also known as a “over protective parent”.
The ICL then follows all the recommendations of the Report writer and the abuser then has all the control, which has been provided by the system and the Family Violence victim is then figuratively abused again, this time, by the system that should protect them.
Why does this keep happening?, because it easier. If the Courts where to believe the Family Violence Victim then they would have to prove the Family Violence which is almost impossible.
Many of the abusers also use the system by also saying falsely that they are abused, or the children are being abused, which makes it extremely difficult for the Court to see who is right.
From a very young age we all wanted to be in the popular group at school, and as we have gotten older we really don’t change. Did you ever think that the popular group is made up of narcissistic, controlling, dominating and manipulative people. The Court, Report Writers and ICL’s and the narcissistic abusive parent are the ‘popular group” and the abused parent trying to survive is the odd one out which no-one hears or when they talk – their voice is ignored by the popular group!.
We are planning to fight back, join us on December 9, 2017 #eventhescore.