Children who are severely aligned are like drug addicts, without their daily alignment fix they will suffer from irritability, restlessness, insomnia, headaches…etc.. until they come back into contact with the aligned parent to get their fix!.
Children who are aligned need the other parent to tell them how to think, what to do, what to say, in extreme cases the children can’t have any ideas of their own without the consent of the aligning parent.
This is straight up “child abuse”.
The child will openly treat their other parent with distain as they have learnt over time to hate them, even despise their very existence.
This is not gender based in my opinion, both women and men align children, some intentionally and some without knowing, either way it is wrong.
What is worse is the way these aligning parents don’t care how this will affect the children long term, what mental health condition/s the children will have later in life, what relationship/s they will have with the other parent and what relationships they will have in their own life, how they will treat their children and their partner.
In my opinion the Courts don’t like the terms alignment or parental alienation syndrome the Court prefer words like ‘not fostering a relationship’, ‘not supporting time between myself and the children’, ‘interfering with my relationship with my children’ or ‘removing myself from my children’s lives’.
There are many ways to help an aligned child and ‘experts’ have many different opinions on this subject.
I believe that since the child are in some ways like addicts, should not their treatment be similar?. I used to work in the field of Drugs and Alcohol and the belief is an addict is always an addict, and the only way to change is to remove them from the temptation, which is why ‘AA’ is so effective.
If we use this same principle then the child must be removed from the aligning parent and placed with the other parent for a prolonged period of time (a few months), with a lot of professional help and assistance both for the child and the parent who is aligning, until the child can live without their “alignment fix”.
The problem with this is that most Report writers and the Court don’t know what alignment is, and in too many of the cases they get it wrong and remove the child/ren from the wrong parent.
If you are in a situation that your child is aligned, I would love to say there is a magical cure, but their simply isn’t. You are caught between a rock and a hard place. If your child is severely aligned there is nothing you can say or do that will make them change their mind, you could simply buy them the world but if the aligning parent doesn’t like it, it will not be good enough.
I have spoken to several parents who have just given up for the sake of their children. Working on the theory, if you don’t exist in their life they cannot hate you, and you will no longer cause them stress, this is a hard option and I applaud these parents for making an extremely tough decision for the long term health and mental well being of their child.
For those parents who want to keep fighting for your children. You will need to have patience and strength and more love for your children than you ever thought possible.
The ultimate goal for the aligning parent is to force the children from your life and until that day arrives they will not stop.
This has to change, the Courts should protect your children #even the score.